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Homeopathic Earthing

Posted in Amusing, Barefoot, Health, Huh? on 5:20 am, April 1, 2018| 3 Comments »

We all know that Earthing is “The most important health discovery ever!”. But that’s not the half of it.

Earthing – The Most Important Health Discovery Ever!

Today, and today only, we are now able to announce a major breakthrough and product line that amps up the electrical benefits of Earthing and makes it hundreds of times more effective.

Through the type of advanced German engineering pioneered by Samuel Hahnemann, we have developed a quantum methodology using the qi of the Universe that applies homeopathic potentization to the electric capacitancy of Earthing.

And as a side benefit, you never have to be bothered by those “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service” signs ever again.

True barefooters have occasionally resorted to various methods to try to disguise the fact that they are Earthing. Common methods have included fully-earthed sandals:

Fully-earthed Sandals

Others, realizing that sometimes shopowners look at those sandals quizzically, have gone with full uppers while still allowing full earthing.

Upper Shielded – Lower Earthed

There are other methods that can be used to still allow earthing. One such is demonstrated here:

Selective Earthing

The trouble with something like that, though, is that our reflexology consultants warn us that this limits the beneficial effects of earthing to our pituitary, nose, neck, thyroid, bronchia, esophagus, and parts of the lung.

Reflexology Points Affected

Now, in a breakthrough of shocking proportions, we have discovered how to combine the scientifically merge homeopathy and earthing. Recall that, under homeopathy, successive dilutions increase the potency of the effect, in this case earthing. We use serial dilutions to electrical access combined with molecular succussions upon a specially prepared material to activate the homeopathic potential of earthing. This our trademarked “homgeopathetic™ process.

Note: Do not confuse this with electrohomeopathy, which is based on the idea that electricity comes in different colors and could thereby be used to create remedies. That’s just old-fashioned quackery. Everybody knows that only gluicity comes in colors.

We start with a base material that allows full electron pass-through:

Base Material

This is used to produce the sole we start with.

Base Material Sole

Next, using our secret process, was are able to dilute the holes using a special kind of succussion that ties into the qi of the Universe. After a 6C, it looks like this:

Base Material After Dilution and Succussion

In line with the principles of homeopathy, such a dilution with succussion actives the earthing that the sole provides, thus amping up all of the benefits of earthing, possibly up to 1,000 times the benefits of earthing without our special sole.

But we don’t stop there.

We continue these dilutions and succussions until we have produced a sole suitable for protecting your foot from the myriad hazards lurking on the ground. In the end, the material has been driven to have a complete electronic overlap of the qi-uantum electron shells of the atoms that make up our homgeopathetic™ soles. Our incredible sole has absorbed electron memory through each step thus enhancing the earthing effect far beyond anything otherwise possible.

This is what we end up with, the Homgeopathetic™ FootPath:

The FootPath

Through the principles of Homeopathy, when you wear the FootPath you are multiplying the beneficial effects of Earthing up to 1,000,000 times! In addition, it provides a nice side effect in that you can regularly and easily go into stores with “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service” signs without being hassled. Chalk it up to the power of homeopathy.

We have also applied this same technology to benefit those of you who prefer the exposure to the elemental qualities of the Earth (air, water, sun) without a shirt. As it well known, natural voltage varies with height about the earth, so going without a shirt helps enhance the natural flow of electrons through one’s body and increasing the antioxidant effect of earthing.

Again, through serial dilution of the interstices of the shirtless condition, we have applied our special method of succussion to create a shirt that supplies that elemental exposure in a homeopathic way. Here is our Homgeopathetic™ ChestPath:

The ChestPath

And ladies, this allows you to enjoy the same benefits that men have in going shirtless in public—no worries about being topless in public or being accosted for breastfeeding in a restaurant. You’ll be homgeopathetically topless the whole time.

Surely these are products that everybody will be all charged up to buy!

Archive for the ‘Huh?’ Category

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